2 May 2013

My recent visit to a particular blog which I don't want to mention here, is the main inspiration for this writing (first: I don't really read blogs in daily basis. When I'm bored, which is such a scarce situation, I will, randomly be clicking here and there. second: most of fashion blogs now are full of self portrait of them wearing same clothes in ten different angles, which I think really weird. Or even worse, I-LOVE-THEM-ALL blog. You know who you are.)

When I see the first post, I was really disappointed, because, as I said before, it IS like a marathon of fashion spread, it's just that it is featuring the same person, same outfit, same make-up, same setting. Different gimmicks and different poses are just the difference. When I visit a blog, comments sometimes are more interesting than the post itself. But in this post, whose the boredom reaches level 1000, I saw the number of the comments. 116. Without a single moderation. It is so many for such post without a mere word. Too many. Then I couldn't help but checking what people say. Did they say something similar with what I thought, that the post is boring? Or maybe they said Oh-You're-So-Adorable comments all and all?

So here you go. The second wins.

The comments, all from bloggers I've never heard of (I don't read blogs, but I read news. When blogs never make it to a news, then I will never hear about it) are saying how they love the outfit, which I personally am disgusted by it-imagine an unpaid used whore being left in the middle of a desert, that's it- without even telling the reason why they love it.

This blog, which I believe has its own loyal adherents due to the winning of LuisaViaRoma's blogger of the year few years ago, is indeed one of the pioneers in fashion blogging. Her posts is never as terrific as Tavi or enriching as StyleBubble, nor meticulous as ManRepeller (which I think is the only blog I consider as an interesting discussion board), but I admit that the quality of the photos are really good (not like Tavi, but still). But then I start wondering, why do people bother commenting on her insipid posts?

Then I realize it. Most of them, 99% of them, are including their blog URL, with a hope that people who read this post and make it to comment section (which is in less number) will open their blog and read it (which is even less number). These people hope that by referring their comments to their blogs, people will start to visit their blogs. Or even more the owner of the post. They want to be noticed. It's like a free advertising. So basically, the comments are not meant to be commenting the post, but a way of self promotion by hitchhiking the famous bus. So when there's a string attached behind the comments and thoughts, can it be considered as a genuine discussion? Why don't people just telling what they think directly to the writer? Or if they fill the comment column, why don't they just use their name?

No wonder that many people outside fashion call fashion world as a sleazy superficial world. When people say they love something, it rarely comes with sincerity. People are afraid of saying what they truly think, and it's not good. Constructive comments are never outspoken, afraid of being deleted. People crave for attention and put look-at-me sign wherever they step on. And people never get it enough. There's a slight sign of attention deficit disorder everywhere.

When you look for attention, perhaps it is because there is something important you are meant to do. You know you have something meaningful to contribute to the world, but maybe you don't exactly know what that is or how to go about it. Still, you can't get away from that feeling and you want other people to recognize that potential in you, and when you do accomplish things, you want to know that they were noted and appreciated.

Perhaps it is only when we stop allowing our main motivation to be impressing and pleasing people do we begin to live a life that is truly meaningful and begin to accomplish the things we were meant to do. When you are true to your conscience, regardless of what others say or do, and if you learn what your unique strengths are and how to best put them to use, people will begin to notice. I remember when Oprah said that everyone is craving for a validation, in any form of it. But by then you will have grown so much that shouldn't matter whether they notice anymore.

Sigmund Freud's "Beyond the Pleasure Principle" which contains structural model might be able to explain this kind of attention needs, but then when people start noticing your existence, it eventually comes back to the inner quality that beholds, which will assure that the attention and validation given by people will remain, yet validating that the validation is true, and I think it doesn't only apply in fashion blogging. Only then, blogsphere will be a space where people can exchange ideas and become an empowering and enriching media.

So, would you comment on something without including your blog URL?

Signorefandi, I always do...